Sadly, too often many parents believe that making decisions for their children should not include them as they are too young or just not capable of doing so.
Some parents even see it as a challenge to engage children in any sort of decision making.
There are so many benefits however to promoting children’s agency at home.
First let’s begin by defining agency.
‘Agency’ is the ability to make choices and make decisions that influence events and to have an impact on one’s world. Agency is the ability to take care of yourself.
To help build a child’s sense of belonging. A sense of belonging develops when a child has developed trust both in the adults around them and the environment. Developing a trusting bond with children and infants, is driven by our image of the child. When children have a sense of agency, they feel more in control of themselves and develop an understanding of their influence of the people and spaces around them. When we listen with respect to children’s voices, their words and their ideas, we model trust and calibration, showing them that they are heard and their ideas matter (Keiki Early Learning).
“Listening means being open to differences, recognizing the value of another’s point of view and interpretation, thus listening becomes not only a pedagogical strategy, but also a way of thinking and looking at others” (Carolina Rinaldi from Reggio Emelia).
Children see the world through their own lenses which may be different to ours. Let’s listen deeply, be present and willing to see the world through the eyes of a child.
In this process it is very imperative that we give our children choices as it helps to cultivate a sense of value as well as helping to build their confidence.
Giving out children the ability to make choices teaches them to be responsible and helps to develop their problem-solving skills.
It is also important for us to realize that no two persons are alike so we will have different likes and dislikes.
Bearing in mind that having choices is a good thing. However, parents also need to be mindful of giving them too many choices.
Too many choices can be overwhelming for anyone, and many times leads to frustration and more often indecision. So, you should limit your children’s choices and try to determine what are the age-appropriate choices. Remember, even toddlers are capable of making choices. That’s where it starts.
Child development has been the focus of research by many institutions medical and none medical alike.
Like-wise many tests have also been conducted with regards to different aspects and stages of a child’s development. One such institution is Aurora Early Education.
“Our children’s voices are at the center of everything we do at Aurora. We see our children as capable and confident individuals who have the right to influence and learning.”
This approach is supported by the Early Years Learning Framework (EYLF), the United Nations Convention on Rights of the Child (CRC) and the Aurora Curriculum and philosophy.
This approach is also reflected in the updated statement of the Australian Research Alliance Research Alliance for Children and Youth (ARACY).
This statement declares that children are competent research participants as their inputs would be instrumental to the outcome of projects especially those affecting children directly.
There are many benefits to placing children at the center of the conversation as it helps us
and them identify their strengths and work collaboratively using them to aid decisions
making and other situations. More-over it helps older family members learn more about
the children’s feelings and how they can feel more comfortable in various instances. Set
up family discussions whereby all family members gather to discuss important topics and
decisions to be made. Include the child in the discussion inviting their thoughts on certain
issues and review the roles and responsibilities everyone has as a family no matter how big
or small. If children do not always know what they want, let them observe some decision-
making processes so they know how to contribute the next time. Have casual conversations
with them finding out their thoughts and personal preferences on particular things.
Listening to them when they express themselves is a great way they can influence family decision making.
We learn a lot from and about our children when we listen to them. This will also help to make things easier for us as adults as it takes some of the burden off decision making.
This is also a very good way of motivating your children. Shared responsibilities develop a community spirit within them and later can be very beneficial to them when they enter the working world.
Harvard University, Centre for the Developing a Child on how agency is acquired observes that a child agency occurs when the child has a choice of projects, or at least a little wiggle room as to how a task gets done, children are more likely to stay engaged.
Works Cited
Centre on the Developing Child, Harvard University, How to Motivate Children: Science based approaches for parents, teachers and caregivers. https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/how-to-motivate-children-science-based-approaches-for-parents-caregivers-and-teachers/
Keiki, Early Learning Center. Supporting Children’s sense of Agency. https://keikiearlylearning.com.au/supporting-childrens-sense-of-agency/
Rinaldi, Carolina from Reggio Emelia, Quote. https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/282727- in-dialouge-with-reggie-emilia-listening-researching-and-learning-con
